But I am having some trouble. This has been a rough week and I am emotionally exhausted as a result. In the same breath though, I am grateful because everything I am feeling/experiencing is completely normal in pregnancy! So, some of you may be able to relate...
I am ready to go back to the gym. As spring approaches, I would like to abandon my waddle and embrace bathing suit inspiration (so don't go anywhere, just sit tight and I will get back to you ASAP!) It is the whiny voice inside of my head that yearns for smaller everything and "normal" shopping sprees to Nordstrom Rack. I miss snuggling with my husband and having my dog lay on my belly without someone quite literally kicking him off.
I am also ready to get back to school. Despite my best efforts, I have been defeated by pregnancy and cancer, therefore, I am delaying one more time. I feel like a broken record calling the school with the same sob story now for the second time, but also my pride takes a blow as it delays my goals.
I miss going out with friends. Being the pregnant one at a concert is kind of a buzz-kill for anyone who wants to get loud or drink. And I miss THE OPPORTUNITY, not necessarily the action of having a cold beer every blue moon (pun intended...with an orange.)
I look at these three complaints and I realize that I naively dreamt of all of things going back to the way I once knew them. Ha, silly Nikki. Yet, I smile that I have new opportunities to sneak off to the gym will Rylee is at grandma's house, or cherish 10 minutes with my husband alone. Not for any negative reason, but because God is blessing us with a baby girl.
Rylee Nicole, you are worth every single change in my life. God, give Scott and I wisdom to know how lucky we are and to cherish change and the moments that are as we remembered.
I guess I'll write Monday...it is a big doctor day as we will decide about a C-section!
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