Growing Pains...

This seems to be the theme this week.  I am growing, Rylee's growing, my family is growing.  One word sums it up: uncomfortable.  Both good and bad are indicative emotions of this time so we "just keep swimming."  There are several areas I/we are growing lately:

My body:  I feel like I am about to pop and yet I still have 2 months to go.  It is a task to put on my socks and I keep having to move further away from the steering wheel.  I went to the hospital this week due to some weird contractions...I suppose my uterus is just practicing...?

Rylee:  She is a little ahead of herself, growing to almost 3 weeks ahead of her gestational age...slow down little girl!!  Mom and Dad need you to stay put for as long as possible.

Lifestyle:  I went from a cute VW bug to a cute-but-still-a-mommy-car Subaru SUV this week.  With a new car comes shrinking play money for dates yet increasing excitement around seeing Rylee in my rear-view mirror soon.

Scott and I have been crabby because in the mix of buy, fixing, preparing, growing and minimizing--we miss each other.  I just don't want to lose us in the mix of all this newness.  So we have decided to claim back our Sun-Mon weekend for our own and limit the amount of "business" we accomplish.  It is so easy to get careless with your most important relationship (second only to God).  Just talking about, I get this sense of longing and determination to make time for my husband.

In the midst of the growing, we will go back to the little things that got us here...  

March is approaching...

This week, Rylee went from being a "too small" baby to being one of the bigger babes on the block!  She is almost two weeks bigger than her gestational age.  I can't complain because she is healthy.  We do have to start thinking C-section though.  I am obsessed with her...Scott and I talk to her, sing to her and dance with her.

Today hit me though as I thought about deeply seeded fears I have about "screwing her up."  I just pray that I can give up control of this whole experience and be free to play and let my imagination run with how beautiful this experience has been.  One thing I do know is that Scott will be a wonderful dad. He will be a great balance to my OCD lists and rules and Rylee will surely delight in her dad's silly nature.

As heavy as some moments have been in these 7 months, I realize the journey has yet to begin.  I keep thinking about getting to the due date, but I am having a hard time imagining a baby living in that crib and messing up the cute outfits I have laid out.  HA!  I know anyone who reads this will laugh at my naivete...but I'll learn.  :)

As March approaches, I anticipate its content with such excitement.  Seattle will only become more beautiful, the Freemont Market will again become my favorite Sunday past time and I get to meet up with friends in honor of Rylee. I am so grateful, and so I enter this next chapter with arms open wide...

It is a work in process...Rylee Nicole

 Putting the Crib together...

Even Reagan helped!

 I made the hair clips and my friend Lylia made the hat.

 Pregnancy made me crafty...

Too much pink for me but I could not resist! 

It has been a year since I blogged...

And Oh what a year!  At first I thought that I would abandon blogging all together, instead I decided that I would lower my expectations by blogging when I could.  Scott and I learned so much in our first year of marriage.  We have now made it to a new place in the journey and feel so grateful for the experiences which have forced us to communicate, relate and compromise.  I think some couples don't learn lessons as this for years down the road.

I am glad to say that all four of our parents have made it to a stable place in their illness.  Nikki's mom and dad are both in remission and feeling great.  Scott's mom is still in treatment, but her cancer markers have remained low and stable.  Scott's dad has made it through triple bypass and several infections.  He has days of pain, but has a great attitude and is becoming more and more independent.  We are thankful for God's work in this area.

The "C" word, Cancer, has evoked many emotions for us, from anger to fight, we have felt it all.  In July 2010 I started have extreme abdominal pain, which they thought was my appendix.  In August they finally decided to remove the appendix, and found no infection, but did find a cancerous mass attached to both the appendix and the colon.  Two weeks later, I was still uncomfortable, but it was quickly diagnosed as 7 weeks pregnant!!

Failing to make sense of it all, we moved forward with how to treat the cancer and have a healthy baby.  The Lord put people in our path with compassion, including my job and our church, family and friends.  We made the decision to wait on chemo, allowing the baby to grow without such a risk to her.  I go to the doctor weekly (sometimes twice) to monitor the cancer, gestational diabetes and low immune system.

The baby is now a 2.5 lb girl, Rylee Nicole, who is growing without any problems!  She loves to kick and turn but is losing room as we head into the third trimester.  Scott and I could not be more excited!  It is the most amazing and difficult thing I've ever dealt with because it is so hard listening to the doctors about my health, knowing that God is growing in me a unexpected miracle.

We are planning on having Rylee as naturally as possible, hoping she will comes when she is ready.  We do know that the risk exists that we may have to induce early but I already have my hospital bag packed and birth plan ready (I know, I am thorough/anal/etc.)  Depending on where my cancer count stands postpartum, we will decide on chemo or as I am praying--the cancer will be gone!

Scott has been a miracle.  He supports me and even cleans when I don't feel good.  I am blessed beyond reason to have him...